Hi!! Just an ordinary guy who likes to code. And ponder about the horros of this infinite cosmos which also will inevitably cease to exist along with the wonders in it
Since my childhood i was thought to believe in one supreme being that is God. That he is the only truth and anything else is irrelevant. But i always had these questions in the back of my mind like: "If god made us then who made god?", "Why can't i see god?", "There are so many reliogions, which one to believe?", "Why is it that only my version of god is true and others are believing in a lie?".
Of course all these questions are debatable and the believers have answer to these (Even though they might be wrong or relying on some assumption).
I was only 7 years old so i did not have the brain capacity to come up with better reasoning but i used to debate with my mother with my little understanding of the world and my beliefs. Even having all these uncertainties was not enough to waiver my faith in the religion. I still prayed and believed in the god that i was thought to believe.
This is what religion does to a rational thinker, even if you grow up to be smart and someone who has the ability to question things, they will never questions their own beliefs.
I think it was around 2014 or 2015 when my dad started watching discovery science, and the "How the Universe works" show specifically. So i also watched that show a lot thanks to my dad and it was the most awesome show i ever watched in my teen age. I used to brag what i know about space and stuff to my friends thanks to that show. But besides that it also shaped my beliefs and widened my knowledge of this universe.
On a random day of 2015 i used to just sit outside and think about stuff, because didn't have many friends to hang out or play with. I still remember that day when i thought to myself: "All of these stars, galaxies, blackholes, maybe some habitable planets... But i don't see any god in it? Why would god be hiding himself in this vastness of the universe? Is there some other place where this so called god lives that we can't reach?". That day was turning point for my beliefs. Of course i didn't turn atheist right away but i was less religious that day than i was the day before.